Wednesday Morning Thankfulness

Ann Voskamp has captivated me with her gratitude.
This morning, beyond all understanding, I want to dive in the deep end, wallow in longing and sadness. I stand here in the balance once again. Bah, too often.
This morning, though, I choose gratitude, for I know no other antidote. For it is only when I lose perspective- look past those sweet and abundant gifts- that I can be at all discontent. Who, upon opening their eyes to the true beauty around them, can be anything but thankful?

eyes searching, wonder reflected

A blur of energy, 15 months in constant movement

grass, green in November. A small bike waiting for adventure

I asked Ryan to "do what I do" and his tree, my tree side by side result. We dream of apples on green-leaved trees, swings and blue skies to dream under

Wood piled high to warm the house for the day, brought in by husband in the early hours before work

Warmth and glow, the hum and backdrop comforting our days

Gifts and connections- a table runner made lovingly by my mom, tiny perfect pumpkins and squash from a friend, a computer that spans miles, a red shaker to make music

Light of day spilling into our house

A rocking chair, made by great grandpa, enjoyed for (now) two generations

Compassion shown to a hurting friend, three huddle close and share comfort

Hair mussed from a warm, long sleep, eyes defying age- when did he grow so old?

Tiny hands grasping the same wood turned by great grandfather, generations linking

Dad and boys, teaching and learning, patience and love shine through

"... a happy day is not the genesis of thanksgiving,rather,
thanksgiving is the genesis of the happy day."

-Ann Voskamp

The ability to live full of joy is not so much our circumstance, but more about our orientation to it. Sometimes, I just need a moment or two to re-orient myself.

What are you grateful for today? Beauty abounds for us all, for the Giver is quite generous. I would love to hear of the beauty surrounding you today.

Reason #21 to Move to the Country

Neighbors.
Ah, wonderful, beautiful, giving neighbors.
Granted...we have the misfits too. "Those people" that everyone knows about. And they have their factions (Hatfields and McCoys about do it justice).
But there are so many days when small gestures of kindness warm my heart and make me partial to my middle-of-nowhere existence.

I mentioned in a previous post that we bought a corn furnace. The beauty of a corn furnace, as I mentioned, is that all of our neighbors do this farming thing for a living...and as a result have corn. However, as we started on the road to obtaining and storing the grain, we came across a few issues.

(This might bore some of you, but there is a point, I promise.)

The grain bin that we bought (from a neighbor) cost us $75.. But this bin is 14 feet tall. The question became, how do you move 120 bushels of corn from the grain wagon of a farmer into our storage bin?

Five gallon buckets?

Hmm. Not the preferred option. That's a lot of trips up a ladder.

So it was getting colder...and we were running out of our temporary stash of corn that we bought earlier in the season.

Neighbor Mike stopped by one Friday before he left town for the holidays, and asked if we had figured out our corn situation. And no, we hadn't yet. Well, turns out he had been "to town" and checked with the coop for us. He found out delivery prices and the going rate for corn. He had done the fancy math and figured out what it would cost us to get 120 bushels of corn (around $500).

I thanked him for the information and sent him on his way. Half an hour later he drove up with a tall auger (for the rest of the country, an auger is like a big tube that can move corn from one spot (on the ground) to another (in the storage bin).

Surprised, I asked him where he had gotten it. "Oh, just have to turn over a few rocks. You going to be home tomorrow?"
"Sure..."
"Good. Brother Bill (who, in fact is not a brother but another neighbor) will be over around 2 to bring you corn. I will be here and help with getting the auger set up."

Then, in one fell swoop, our neighbors saved us $150 from the coop price Mike had quoted earlier.

As some of you might know, we have gone down to being essentially a one car family. This works just fine for us most days, but there are times where I need to buy groceries or go to the doctor. When this happens, I have to wake the boys up, throw everyone in the car, and drive Phil to work at 6:30am...and then pick him up later in the day after all of my running. While extremely do-able, it does make for a long day.

Before leaving after the corn was delivered, Mike asked if we would mind storing his second car while he left for the winter. Also, he would appreciate it if I drove it often so it didn't freeze up.
"Oh, I think I can handle that." I replied, floored at his generosity and trust.
---------------------------------Soapbox---------------------------------
So, that was the beginning of Thanksgiving week. And all week long, though I missed family and friends, God has so warmed my heart about my circumstances. And I suppose I feel a bit guilty that I am so content, that I am not pulling my hair out over missing people, rather being thankful for where we are.

Because two years ago, Black Friday would have been my all-in-all out of necessity. My three and a half month old boy would have been sleeping whenever I saw him. And my best and first energy would have been given to Target and the people there. Whereas now, I am free to give that to my rambunctious boys and my husband.

I love staying home and curling up the Day After Thanksgiving...no pressure to go and sell Chinese-made toys to people already deeply in debt, all while trying to encourage them to sign up for more credit.

I love seeing my littlest son smile and coo and learn to sit up (wobbly). I love having conversations with my oldest about the imaginary toad on the living room floor that eats jellybeans.

I love that only two years after the hardest Thanksgiving of my life, where I said goodbye to so many loved ones, that my heart can be warmed beyond understanding with the above truths. That our family in Iowa is becoming more real to us, and our friends here are too.
I can't explain it other than to say that when God says he will provide all we need... He means it. And when God says He watches over us even as he watches over a sparrow...He does. And it doesn't always seem like it in the moment. Because we don't always get the answer we want. But day after day and year after year, though we may be unfaithful to Him, He is ALWAYS faithful to us. He knows the desires of my heart- even better than I do, and only after they are fulfilled do I know how true that statement is.