If I close my eyes tight enough, we are in a warm mountain cabin, surrounded by a dense forest of trees, heavy with snow. Even the morning songs of birds are muffled by the blanket of winter. All is calm, and all is bright. We are far from everyone, nestled in and curled up. No one to know that we spent the better part of the day curled up in fuzzy pajamas reading David Copperfield or snuggling close to a two-year old just bleary-eyed enough to sit still. The smell of breakfast- eggs, pancakes, bacon- mingles with the sweet woodfire, beckoning me to the kitchen for a fresh cup of steaming coffee.
Minus the mountain, this was our Christmas: A warm cabin, glowy, bright, quiet, secluded. Nowhere to be, nothing pressing to do. Unheard of in this family. And absolutely wonderful. But I imagine the mountain in because it just feels right.
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Across the country, our families are together, warm and enjoying laughter, squeezing babies and soaking up tiny smiles. I am so happy for them, all under one roof (ok, different roofs but together family-style). I feel lonely for all those out West. An ache that doesn't sting like our first Christmas here, but is present nonetheless.
But tumbling quickly after my melancholy is the realization that I have so much to be grateful for. True, our family's Christmas is spread like butter over the United States. But I can take comfort in so many things:
Our families are healthy and four new babies have been added to our number this year. Phil and I have been given two healthy, sweet children to raise, and I am home with them to see my own tiny smiles each day. We have webcameras that both allow my oldest son to wave to his Aunt, Uncle and cousin in Hawaii, and my family in Washington to see my youngest wriggle and squirm. We have dry wood that keeps our house warm. Our parents love and support us so unfailingly, even to the tune of multiple visits, canning and chicken-chasing. We have friends who span miles with prayers, phone calls, and visits, and a church filled with people who have become such a family for us in Iowa.
I don't know why, but being so far from all those who love us so well...from those we love so well...it makes me just so grateful for each one of you. Still, I long for strong hugs and talks over hot cider.
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Christmas was a beautiful day. A warm 37 degrees was like a heat wave next to our week of sub-freezing weather. A bleary-eyed Ryan was carried downstairs wrapped in a thick blanket six times his size to snuggle with Dad. Present after present was opened, more slowly than last year, each present receiving it's due attention. The generosity of our friends and family is overwhelming.
We spent the second part of the day at Phil's uncle's house, surrounded by extended family. The boys soaked up the attention and Phil and I rested our arms a bit (kids get heavy). It felt so good to be around family today, and we were so thankful to be invited to share their day with them.
It sounds so cliche to say that I miss you all, that I am thinking of you at your individual Christmases...but it is quite true. In my mind I am eating jello salad at my mom's house, sweet potato casserole at Tif's Aunt Frances', pepper jam with Tycen and Sonja, clam chowder at Phil's mom's, Jimmy Carter balls with Tara and Todd, trying pineapple cookies with our Hawaiian siblings...
Don't ask me why you are all wrapped up with food...maybe it's because you are good cooks, or maybe I should weigh three times what I do for the amount of thought process that goes toward food...we may never know.
Please squeeze your families for me. Merry Christmas, all.
4 comments:
Awww Tracy, isn't it wonderful when your heart gets there, missing those you love but also basking in the blessings that God has given you. Its like a wonderful cooling salve to the soul.
Yesterday Dad and I ended up spending our first Christmas totally alone. It wasn't by our plan, but ended up being by God's. We had been invited over to Todd's family's celebration, but had declined in order to go north and see Ken's Aunt & Uncle, who have been having real health issues. That didn't come together, so "Pa & Ma settled down in kerchief and cap", ha.
The night before we attended candle light service at our new church and what a blessing that was, settling all the holiday activity down to a quiet evening of singing Christmas carols, focusing back on the Word of God and truly celebrating the gift that its all about, Christ birth. Dad and I slept in Christmas morning, opened gifts over our cups of hot tea, got to talk in length to all of our kids on the phone, talked to our parents.... a quiet day to think about all the "quiet blessings" that God has brought to our family.
Having children and grandchildren spread over a spance of almost 4,000 miles gives one 2 options.....rise to the challenge and grow with it....or dig a pit of despair and make everyone miserable, along with yourself. I think it was the year that God desired us to "face the giant of being alone" and use "the stones of blessings from Him" to take the giant down. To know that "all is well" in the homes of each of those that we love, there could be no better gift. And thus Dad and I could reply from our home, "all is well, and it truly was"......Love you all. Mom
Well we truly mised all of you and your warm hugs and wonderful smiles in person this year! However I was really glad that we were able to see eachother over the computer. I like how you remember us all by food. I think it is the "comfort food" that you are attatching to all of us. Your favorite things about Christmas dinner at each home. Hopefully next year you can join us here in Washington for a wonderful Christmas celebration. I am gad that you are able to stay warm and enjoy the morning and day with eachother and cherish the moments you have with your kids. I love you so much!
Seester
We missed seeing you guys this Christmas but are so glad the day was cheery, relaxed and blessed. While we could certainly feel sad about the distance between our families (and trust me, we do).. we are also reminded that such wonderful friends with kindred spirits are very rare, and that your friendship is such a gift.
Thank you, Jesus, for sending your Son in the form of a baby.. that we might know You and be saved. Thank you for our wonderful friends and family who remind us often just how much You love us.
PS. Do you have my sweet potato recipe? I am more than happy to give it to you if you don't. Although, I know there is nothing like having someone else make your favorite dish!
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