Tuesday, September 16, 2008

What I meant to say was...

The comments from yesterday's post made me want to clarify a few things. First, we are OK. Thinking back over the past winter is truly a terrifying process, but it is also important to remember that we did make it. Spring did eventually come, and the snow did finally melt. While some of our hardships were flukes, most of them will be avoidable this year with proper planning and preparation. Thank goodness!

Secondly, I realized that I have been including only the positive here for awhile. Times where I am the most stressed, the most down, I write the least- partly out of self-preservation, partly because it's no fun to read when people are having a rough time. Whatever the reason, I also realized I am simply not being honest with the entire picture of a move like this, and it cheapens the story.

A quiet, absolutely soul-renewing Christmas makes much more sense when contrasted with the harsh realities of our winter last year. (Or a nice hot shower sounds mundane until it is written in the context of trenching a 200 foot water line by machine, and then by hand.) Too often I leave out the bad, the ugly, the strenuous, and it leaves the picture half-painted. Pretty pinks, blues, and bright shades of green might be pleasant, but if you add the shadows it becomes poignant, vibrant, and true. In short, my attempt to bring you into the fold, as it were, is not an attempt to scare you, frustrate you, or even make you sad...(although given your relation to me and my family, you may feel any of those regardless of my intent). Rather, my goal is to flesh out the story in full, so that you might appreciate the amazing blessings that come our way as deeply as we do.
Lastly, I realized that my comment about being jealous of the grasshoppers might have come off wrong. I have edited it to be more accurate. The truth is, I spend quite a bit of energy fighting my own desire to escape from work like this. It can be tedious, and there are things I would much rather be doing. However, when winter comes, I know I will be so thankful for those long days spent canning, or those weekends in the shop fixing windows. I don't hold it against anyone that they have a less...strenuous life in certain aspects. I am thankful that most of you don't fight the elements like we do, oh so thankful. I am clearly aware that we are the crazy people who chose to live in the 1925 farmhouse, raise animals, and install a corn burner. And never do I sit and think "oh, look at those people enjoying life! How dare they!" However, I do spend time talking myself out of "running to the big town" or even taking a fall trip home versus putting those time and money resources into winter preparation. Those are the real battles I struggle with (because my grasshopper side says "It's warm now! Live it up! Think, Starbucks!!!")
And now, those clarifications aside, the rest of the story....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are so right, trials and testing are what bring out the rainbows.