Another thing to be thankful for!

As if there is not already enough joy to go around this holiday season, we became "Auntie and Uncle" once again last night! Phil's brother Eric and his wife Reya welcomed the first little one into their family last night -quite unexpectedly! Four and a half weeks early, but a healthy 4pounds 14ounces, Clarence Michael decided he just didn't want to miss the Thanksgiving festivities. Eric is in the Coast Guard, stationed in Honolulu, so we can't pick up and hold the little guy, but we are SO thankful he is healthy and that mom is doing well, too. So many blessings...

I started making Christmas stockings about two weeks ago, and I am glad that Thanksgiving is over so I can put up the finished product without getting virtual glares from my mom, who is an avid "Wait until it's time" Christmas decorator. This morning, until we can call and talk to the new mama mentioned above (we are four hours ahead out here) we are listening to Christmas music, putting away fall, and ushering in the holiday season.

This year also marks the first year since I have been married that I have not had to work on Black Friday. We have missed most of the holiday shopping frenzy because of the blatant lack of media in our house, and as a result I was quite content to sit at home -do no shopping and resist fighting the crowds today. That was, until a cousin brought out the ads yesterday at Thanksgiving. Suddenly items that I had never before coveted were now on my "oooh THAT would be fun to have" list. So, all day my poor husband has had to listen to "Well, maybe we SHOULD go to Target...I mean, I know I don't need anything, but what if there is a good deal?"

Because he is the steadfast one in the family, and because we are really trying to keep our holiday low-key this year, he keeps reminding me that we don't need anything, and therefore should not go out looking for anything. So, in that spirit, I have resisted. Then I got a phone call from my sister- out in the trenches of Kohls, telling me about the DVD player she got for $130 off, and the kids clothes that were discounted 70%...oh the pull of retail. And then, I read this article http://www.kcci.com/money/10389831/detail.html and remembered just how crazy black Friday really is. No, we don't really need a garden gnome...even if it is only $1.99.

The riggors of childhood

The downside of having a mom with a blog is that she always wants to catch those cute moments with her camera. In the midst of those embarrassing, awful moments where most moms would just help you up and out of your predicament, she wants to find her camera and take a photo.

Like yesterday. Ryan likes to play with these pots and pans from my kitchen. He carries them around, puts things in them (oh! We’re having plastic horse for dinner…) and generally strews them about the house. Yesterday he decided to use one of them as a chair (just the right height, I guess). But instead of sitting on the bottom of the pot, he ended up easing himself onto the top, his rear end sinking to the bottom and his little feet dangling over the edge.

He looked at me with shocked eyes “What has happened?!” and instead of going over and helping him out, I ran to get a camera, unable to stifle my laughs. I returned moments later, but by the time I had the camera on and focused, he was already working on an exit strategy. This was the only picture I was able to get to chronicle the event.

And the whole thing (including the slight bit of guilt I felt at not immediately helping him out) reminded me of this past Halloween.

When children are 4 and they want to be Spiderman or a fairy princess, they are delighted when you can turn them into such a character- if only for one day. As kids get older, they learn to create their own fictional character, adding to the fun.

But when your son is 19 months old and you wrangle him into a bee costume, it is for no other reason than you want to see him in a bee costume, and you want pictures of him in a bee costume. Sure, I stood him in front of the mirror, talked to him and tried to impart on him the idea that he was pretending to be this flying creature...but it was to no avail.

And when you are purchasing a costume for a child this age, with the full knowledge that they could care less what they are going to be, you search for three things - price, convenience, and cuteness factor. In your parental simplicity you forget to think like a child, through all of the ramifications of certain costumes. When I picked out the bee costume, and put it on Ryan the morning of the church "trick or treating" party, I had no idea that the three year olds would make a game out of running from the bee....you know, because it stings?


So when the Butterfly Princess and Woody and Mary's Little Lamb ran squealing past me down the hall, it took me a minute to put it all together. "The bee is coming! The bee is coming!" Ahh...I thought...kids are too creative for their own good. Slower and more stumbly, Ryan ran after them, not grasping the point of the game and only looking to play with his buddies. Smiling, he was having a blast. Thankful that he didn’t understand the kids were running from him, I was quickly reminded of what it feels like to grow up. I didn't realize I would have to work with a backward learning curve, here. Iwill have to get past my naiveté before preschool, I’m afraid!

He wears size 7 shoes now.

My son is growing up.
I know, he has been doing that sort of thing for, oh, about twenty months or so now. Ok, 20 plus 9 months. But it has hit me more in the last month, these small milestones that seem so mundane individually, but spell something much bigger when linked together. My son is growing up. And while I am not looking forward to the day when he will say "Moooomm! Not in front of the other kids!" Or "You can just drop me here, I will walk the rest of the way," I find that I am really looking forward to having an "older kid". Each day as he learns and understands more, I am able to see more of what goes on in his little head. Though I have to be so much more careful (because he can reach EVERYTHING) I can also be more lax on things (he doesn't run headlong toward the stairs anymore).

Yesterday at the doctor's office he stood on the big kid scale. He put his hands on his tummy as the nurse prompted, and stood perfectly still on the scale while she weighed him, listened to his heartbeat and checked his breathing. I can still remember so vividly undressing him to lay him on the scale and the cries that came from the cold stethoscope of a nurse he didn't know. I even remember his first two doctor's visits when he would fight being stretched out to be measured- the nurse would push his little knee down to take him out of his curled position and he would protest with great anger. But yesterday he just walked out of the "weighing room" like a big kid, carrying his coat and following the nurse to the exam room.

I think that because I am with him all the time it is hard for me to remember to let him grow up. I get in my routine and forget to challenge him, to slow down and let him help. And because of this I am thankful that he is always asking to do more- pushing himself down so he can walk rather than be carried, grabbing the large pieces of wood and hauling them over to be placed in the fireplace.

He is a joy to watch, and I so look forward to the days as he gets older. Giving him cookies and asking about his day when he comes home from school, seeing him run downstairs with anticipation on Christmas morning, teaching him how to plant in the garden. As the mom in me wants to hold onto him now, while he is cuddly and wants to be read stories all the time, that very same mom also wants him to grow up and be part of the world around him, to learn to read on his own. It's strange, this "parenting" thing- what it does to your emotions and your psyche. The fear and the pride and the protectiveness and the love. I wasn't properly warned, I fear. Then again, I don't really know how you would impart that kind of knowledge on someone unless you gave them a child to raise.

Oh so very city

The other morning I was reminded anew of just how much city has been ingrained in me. I was driving to see a friend- on a long, straight, gravel country road. There were no houses to be seen in either direction, just some rolling hills and a few grain storage bins.

As I rounded the top of a small hill, I noticed a large pickup parked on the side of the road. Odd, I thought to myself, but quickly dismissed it, probably just a farmer checking on his field- taking soil samples or something.

Before too long, I came upon two men in orange vests, and a pair of dogs. A short barrage of possibilities ran through my mind- A search party? Did someone lose something? Inmates doing road cleanup? Would inmates have dogs?

And then, nearly passing the two men, I notice they each have a gun. My heart stops and for a minute I almost duck, expecting bullets to come flying through my rear window. They aren't inmates! They've excaped already! Surely they were waiting for some unsuspecting soul to drive this way to hijack their car!

But before I look too crazy, my new country-brain catches up with my old-city brain and I realize they are just hunters, out for pheasant season. I soothe myelf with the reminder that guns are OK when held by people hunting game...they aren't going to just shoot whatever comes across their path. One of the hunters waves at me, and I smile as if I see strange unkempt men with guns and dogs walking down the side of the road all the time- doesn't bother me a bit, really.

Oh the adjustments one must make...

On Generosity

So, the car that has been my mode of transportation for 8 years is no longer. The insurance company totaled it and came to pick it up on Friday. It was my first car, one that took me through high school, community college, university, and my fist job. It endured West Seattle and the U-district (three break-ins, one purse, and one cd player later). It brought my baby home from the hospital and survived nearly a year in the wilds of Iowa, only to be bested by a daredevil deer.

The upside, however, is that we still had our comprehensive insurance, (even though my thrifty nature fought against it over the past few months), and we will be able to buy a different car. One that I did not abuse during my teen years, and hopefully one that does not need immediate repair work. It may even be able to carry five people comfortably.

But the real blessing here is not in the insurance, but in the generosity of our neighbors. It’s hard to understand the enormity of this without fully grasping where we are. Two weeks ago I would have said “I just don’t know how He is going to do it…” and yet these two weeks have passed and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. It warms my heart that even when times are rough, we are not alone.

So, to lay pride aside in order that you might understand the blessings we have received, here we go. It’s a bit lengthy so bear with me.

1. When my parents were visiting, we learned that there was a problem with the well. It would be either $60 or $700 to fix, more likely the latter.
2. Our propane tank was down to 10% full (in an old house like this, during the winter, that lasts about a month, depending on the usage. Filling up the tank is around $1200.
3. We smashed the car. We would need a new one…oh, immediately. The other car we have is a 1950’s truck without seatbelts, not exactly family friendly. No matter what, to get a safe car we were going to put around $1000 into it, on top of the money we get from insurance.
4. While Phil has work, and has been bringing projects in, he does not get paid for them until the owner delivers the items. This can be up to a month after the project is initially finished.

So, it felt a bit like the world was closing in on us. And you probably look at this list and say the same thing “Wow…I don’t see how this is going to work either, unless you just have this endless supply of money laying around!” And we don’t, so this scenario seemed very scary to us, as well. So, we prayed- for direction, for relief, something.

We kept these issues to ourselves for the most part- telling only a few family members, because, well, we have it all together, right? We finally decided to ask our small group for some prayer – that we couldn’t really see a way out of me going back to work, or making some big change in our lives.

Later that evening, someone left us an anonymous gift – it was small in comparison to our overall need, but it allowed us to breathe a bit. There was compassion and care and selflessness in the gift and it made me cry for the sacrifice I knew it was.

The next evening we had invited another couple over for dinner. When she walked in the door she carried with her a laundry basket of meat- all of this stuff she wouldn’t/ couldn’t use, she explained. “One way we can lighten the burden,” she said lightheartedly. Being farmers, they have this supply of meat, and shared their bounty with us. And again, we breathed in a bit deeper.

That Friday, our friend Mike called- he was back from a three week trip seeing his family, just checking in on the neighbors. I told him my deer story, and laughed with him about keeping his animals in their rightful fields, rather than running across the street, and all. He wished me luck on the insurance stuff, and said he would be by later to check in.

The next day he stopped by and asked Phil if he might be willing to “store a car” for him this winter- he had “too many, you know”. He explained that, since he would be with family out of state, he needed a place for his car. Would we be able to store it? And, of course, drive it around a bit to keep it warm. Phil saw through his attempts to save our pride and gladly accepted the loaner car.

He drove the car over two days later, vacuumed, cleaned, gas tank topped off. He brought with him a long list of notes about the car (like the door beeps when it’s open, whether or not the key is in), his insurance policy number as well as his roadside assist policy number (both of which we are covered on, he explained). He included his home, away, and cell number, as well as a duplicate copy of the information for me to keep in a separate location. There were jumper cables in the back, extra belts, an assortment of fuses and relays, flashlights and a tool box that would make dad proud. When I would have been happy with just any old thing to drive for the interim, he has gone all out to see that we are taken care of and safe. (He did ask that I avoid hitting deer with his car.)

We called the propane coop that same day and they came to fill up our tank. They offered to prorate our bill over the remainder of the period with no charge. In English, that means we only have to pay $185 per month rather than $1200 this month. It’s something they do all the time, they explained.

So, I can take stock today, two weeks later:

1. We had well guys come out and look at the well this past week. They said nothing was wrong mechanically, just some mineral buildup that kept the water from getting in so fast. The guys were extremely nice, and worked fast. We haven’t gotten the bill, but it will be less than we originally expected. **
2. We have a full tank of propane, and a manageable monthly bill.
3. We don’t have to worry about getting a new car for three months- so we can save up for the right car and pick it up at our leisure.
4. Our freezer is full of yummy meat.
5. Our hearts are warmed with the reminder that God can do ALL things, whether or not we see the outcome for ourselves!

I think of the times we have the opportunity in our own lives to be generous to someone in need, even if the need isn’t that great or isn’t even expressed. We certainly are not the neediest people I know, and it makes me uncomfortable taking things from people. But here is the truth- we each have something that can lighten the burden of someone else: a phone call for encouragement, a letter in the mail, a fresh baked pie. A car you aren’t using or all of this leftover produce from your garden. It seems so small to you when you have it, but so big to someone receiving it.

These people individually had no idea the scope or depth of our upcoming burdens- they only saw that there was a need they could help to meet. But in all, it worked out to be this beautiful harmony – and we were taken care of, each burden lifted. How neat is that? I hope that one day I can fine-tune my instincts as well as these people have – to learn to give of myself when I see even a small need, because I never know what else is going on. I want to be an instrument in someone’s life like they have been in mine!

**(On a side note, we had our first snow of the season the same day these guys came out to work on the well. It started as a little drizzle, and ended up being a regular winter storm. They were champs about it, and we served them a hot lunch as a small token for the resolve it took for them to keep going in the storm! The snow was absolutely beautiful, though. I have been really afraid of winter- secretly fearing the cold weather- but that snow reminded me of how beautiful winter is. The snow is so bright and reflective you can't help but be thankful for it! OK, as long as you aren't working in it.)

New Translation?

Me: This is getting bad. I drink like four cups of coffee a day.
P: I know. We drink more coffee now than we ever have before.
Me: I didn't have any last night and now I have a headache- I've gotta have some really early this morning.
P: Yup, bring yourself back to that normal level of "extremely caffeinated."
Me: Exactly. Now where's that coffee?
P: And you know, in the end times, when everyone turns into cannibals, they will bite into one of us and and go "WOW! THOSE people are definitely not from around here! Give you a zing, don't they!"
Me: Will there be cannibals in the end times?
P: Oh, I guess I don't know. Sure?
Me: "Are these like those Seattle morsels we hear about? You know, the ones that actually taste like Starbucks?"
P: Ok, that's taking it too far.
Me: Hey! You introduced the people eaters- don't blame this downward spiral on me!

Because every mom knows what it's like to have baby residue on their clothes.

"Here, Ryan! Lookee here!" Phil cynically and loudly beckons our innocent child to get involved in an act of outright revenge.

"Mmmm M and M's! Soooo good! You eat these and go see mom!" I hear Phil snickering in the kitchen.

We had been in the middle of lighthearted banter when I left the room in a mock-huff, retreating to the couch where I sat, arms crossed, waiting for him to come sheepishly apologize.

But this, this was a new tactic- one I had not seen before.

Ryan, little feet pounding, ran with his arm outstretched into the living room, showing me his prized M&M. Being the generous toddler he is, he offered his bounty to me. I took it from him, popped it in my mouth, said thank you, and gave a wry smile to my husband, who just happened to be observing the event by peeking around the door.

Immediately his head disappeared and again came his beckoning call:

"Ryyyyyan! More candy in here!" He shakes the M&M jar loudly. The little feet run full speed ahead to the awaiting treat.

"Here, one for your mouth, and then one for each hand. Go see mom!" He says, his voice dripping with excitement that transfers to our 18-month old. Ryan runs into the living room again, smiling, little fists clinging the candies.

My husband's head appears once again around the doorway, and I cock my head sideways, glaring a bit at his shenanigans. And then he lets out a laugh as he sees the intended results.

A long stream of blue juice dripping from Ryan's mouth, his smile revealing equally blue teeth.

"That's it, give her a nice big hug and make sure to rub your face on her khaki pantleg!"

At least he's creative.

Soured Yogurt or Healthy Yumminess?

I have always liked to eat somewhat healthy. Well, that's not entirely true. I like to eat some things that are healthy to offset the wonderfully rich goodness of others. For example, my Starbuck's drink is a Grande NONFAT white chocolate mocha WITH WHIP. See? Cancelled out. During college my roommate and I would eat simple meals - plain spaggetti and butter and parmesan cheese. We would add some peas on the side so the meal would appear well-rounded. Then afterward, of course, we would snack on double-stuffed oreos. Again, a wash. As a result, my diet was simple, easy to prepare, and relatively tasteless.

When I started dating Phil, though, my diet had to change. He simply wasn't content with plain chicken breasts or noodles with Johny's seasoning salt. Even if he did get rewarded afterward with brownies. He wanted flavor. Spice, grease, red meat, real vegetables, a regular array of foods. Though hesitant, (and mostly out of early-dating politeness) I began to inch out of my comfort zone. I learned to like (among others) broccoli, thai food, salmon, asparagas and squash, all of which I had previously strictly avoided. He opened my eyes to the beauty that is real whipped cream and egg nog (although I am still a holdout on things like gravy for breakfast).

Over the years my affinity for tasteless, low-fat foods has comingled with his love of rich, high-in-fat foods and we have come out better for it. (Believe it or not I actually weigh less now than when we first met, althoug I have no idea how) We now eat a more balanced, tasteful cuisine. But although we have come to the same conclusions with our tastebuds, there are still two areas where we often disagree.

1. I am very cheap. If I can get a bargain, I will certainly take advantage. I have no brand loyalty and am willing to go for the best bargain even if it means buying "Mom's best" Toasted O's.
2. Phil is a purist. He believes the best thing we can do for our health is actually look at the ingredients in what we eat. You should have seen the time I brought home margarine thinking "This is two bucks cheaper than butter!" He was on the internet in seconds, telling me how partially-hydrogenated oils will slowly kill us, one artery at a time. As a result, we don't use things like "Coffeemate," or eat processed foods very often. Though also a fellow cheapskate, he is willing to pay the extra funds it costs to eat "simple foods". (Though the health nut in me has to say it confuses me how a man who will not eat margarine downs biscuits and gravy with a side of sausage for breakfast, but that's another story.)

So here we are, last night, ready to sit down to a meal. We had a pork steak (that was fabulous, by the way), a green salad, and a baked potato. I was quite proud of myself for producing a low-cost, good-tasting meal. But my husband balked at me. I made a fatal error by placing THIS on the table.

I bought this at the store for $.25! It was some crazy sale and they were offering these 16 oz tubs of sour cream, four for a dollar. Lowfat, cheap, what bargain hunter could pass this up? Not I, surely.

But as I slid it across the table to him, he looked at me, appalled. "You don't want me to EAT this, do you?" He melodramatically picked up the container to study it closer. Smiling wryly he then took the tip of a spoon and gingerly dipped the very end of it into the tub. He dabbed his tongue with the offending stuff and said with a scrunched-up face "It tastes like sour yogurt."
"It does not!" I protested, laughing now. I had been caught.
"Oh yes it does! Who puts soured yogurt on their potato? Look! There isn't even any CREAM in this stuff! It's all skim milk! And gelatin! Gelatin is a meat product, and it's in your sour cream!"

$.25 deal or not, I am about to hear why this is the worst possible purchase on the planet.

"It's like 'Whipped Topping'. They can't say 'Whipped Cream' because there is no cream in it- nothing natural about it. This is false advertising! They should just call this Soured Topping. Here, would you like some Soured Topping with your nice, moist potato?" At this point he begins to talk about all of the awful things technology has allowed us to do with food.

Having heard the diatribe before, I mentally make a note NOT to buy fat free sour cream again. (Lite, then, I tell myself. I'll take my chances.)

Little Chef

I love helping mom when she is cooking! I get to stand on a chair...pour stuff into bowls...and even smash the spoon around in all the goop! Did you know that flour tastes good? Try it sometime- just take a big handful and put it in your mouth (quick-like so yer mom doesn't catch ya, though).
My favorite part is when she leaves the room to get eggs or sumptin and you can eat from the end of the spoon (you gotta play it cool when she comes back in, though, she doesn't take too kindly to such a thing).
Above all, my favorite part of the whole shebang is the end, when she puts down the batter mixer and I can snitch it - so much good stuff on there! Mmm!

Sneaky?

Those new tools look pretty neat. I wonder how I could get my hands on those...
I know, I will just climb up here on this sewing box and get close, and sneak little touches in here and there.
Who am I kidding? That will never work! She will see me.

Unless...
Yes, that's it! I will find dad's hat. That way she will think it's him, not me! Dad gets to pick up and touch and play with those tool-thingies.
Now where is that hat?

That's it...just climb...riiiight up here...reeeeach...look casual, like you do this every day...