It started way back when we first got our bottle lamb, Millie. Sweet, tiny Millie. At first, she was so terrified of us that we played a bit of cat-and-mouse with her, and then (when she realized we were now her sole source of food) she could not get enough of us. We knew she needed a friend when she would throw her little body against the door whenever we went inside the house, yelling at us to either LET HER IN or COME BACK OUT!
These are your options, people!
So, we went to a sale barn and bought another lamb. This lamb was slightly older, knock-kneed, and a bit on the jumpy side. It took a long time for her to warm up to us, but Millie thought she had died and gone to Heaven. A FRIEND who did not abandon her by going into the large brick structure!
Molly, the sale barn lamb, was also a bit craftier than our innocent Millie, and figured out quickly how to excape from the pesky fenced-in area. Over and over we would have to chase her back in. Finally, she taught her cohort how to do the same, and the war began. Apparently, electric fences are not the way to keep animals with 4 inches of thick wool caged up. (Oh, that's a nice little massage...Look Millie! I'm on the other side! With the GREENER grass!)
One day, our electric fence shorted out and a hole burned through one of the ropes, leaving it useless. Again, since our sheep were extremely docile and not too interested in people, it wasn't a big deal. They just roamed at leisure and ate the various grass patches on our property. Imagine a nice green oasis in the middle of a desert- they didn't have a big desire to stray far.
Then Molly died. We think she overate...but we don't know for sure. One day she was fine, three days later she was gone. This sent Millie into a bit of a tailspin. Sure, the cows are company...but certainly they are not sheep. So, each time we come outside, she leaps and bounds and wriggles, excited as can be out to see us. She pushes her head inside the van as we're loading the kids up, ready to hop in with us if only we wouldn't be so STINGY with the whole "no sheep in the van thing." On the way to the mailbox, we always have a pal to follow us.
Yes. She had, in fact, become our sheep-dog.
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But then,
it happened.We got a call from the local co-op saying that a Christmas Angel was sending us 100 bushels of corn and would we like to have it delivered.
Of course we would.
As soon as the truck pulled up, I started to get nervous. Here was Millie,
my sheep leaping and bounding out to visit the truck.
The driver stepped out to greet me. "Don't worry, she's really harmless." I say, offering a nervous laugh and swatting her away from his leg, where she was
sniffing and licking his pants. "Oh, down at my property I have a goat like this."
Phew. At least he doesn't think we are crazy. Long story short, he ends up getting this 15 ton feed truck stuck in a soft spot on the side of our house trying to deliver this corn. Yes, I said STUCK in my SIDE YARD because of some sink hole we had no idea about until we put 15 tons of pressure on it. He hooked up chains, tried to drive out on plywood, and 30 minutes later came over to me and said "Do you know any neighbors around here?"
Groan. Kind of."We might need one of them to bring a tractor over and pull me out."
I started calling around to the few farmers I knew and eventually got hold of the neighbor straight south of us, who both farms corn/beans and has a cattle feed lot. He agreed to be right over. Oh my.
I started to search frantically for a way to lock up Millie. Perhaps back behind the old fence? Or maybe in the chicken coop yard. Or maybe even in the machine shed. But all of the doors were
frozen open. There was nothing I could do. She followed me dutifully as I searched, bouncing sideways and leaping in circles, her excitement barely contained "lookee! lookee! Visitors! DO YOU SEE THEM?" Yes. I did indeed see them.
He soon arrived with his tractor, and again my sheep bounded over to greet him. "Don't worry, she's harmless." I managed to squeak. He pushes her head away from nibbling on his shoe and says "Is that a pet?"
Now, it's one thing if a guy from a town many miles away thinks we are a strange kind of folk. But this was my NEIGHBOR. My neighbor who raises cattle for a living. Probably? He doesn't have a small cow that follows him to the mailbox. I could hear the stories being told at the local diner about that crazy Washingtonian couple who moved out here. "Have you seen their *snicker* pet?"
Anyhow, when I unmelted from my puddle and explained that she was a bottle lamb that no longer had another sheep to keep her company, he just smiled. Then he asked "What's her name?"
Busted.
Millie. He grinned a knowing smile, thinking "suuuure she's not a pet." Eyeing the
harness that was thankfully/mortifyingly still on her from
this experience. Thankfully: I could hold her back from sniffing at our visitors...Mortifyingly because, hello? A harness on a sheep?
For my kids and for my friends, I am glad we have really manageable animals. That I can go in the cow pen or our sheep can be running around and not do anything more than sniff Ryan. In those ways, it's really nice ot have a petting-zoo hobby farm. But I don't really think it gains a lot of respect from the local cattle-men.
For the record:
We do know. We do know that barnyard animals belong behind fences. Someday they might actually be there. I also know that I should not be out doing chores in my fuzzy blue bathrobe, even if our closest neighbor IS 3 miles away.
But I just needed a few eggs.
Later edited to add: Sheep and cows are currently effectively locked up in a pen. Still, no recent visits from the cattle-farming neighbor.
Mix dry ingredients together. Here's where you can have fun with this recipe. You can add cheeses like parmesan, cheddar, swiss. You can add chopped nuts or sunflower seeds. Be crazy here. I know, I know, I am a recipe lover, too. I'm telling you, it's a hard thing to mess up here. For mine, I used probably 1/2 tsp rosemary, 1/2 tsp basil, and 1 tsp garlic.
Now, mix in your liquids. Just use a wooden spoon, nothing special. When it looks about like this, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and mush a couple of times until it forms a ball. This does not have to be perfect, just "together".
Glance nervously at dwindling supply of chocolates. Debate getting more out, but decide that probably, you should just hurry up and finish the recipe.
Here's the hardest part of the recipe. Roll it out. Really, really flat. It's kind of a tough dough, so be patient with yourself. It needs to be less than 1/8 inch thick. After a few passes, you are going to be like "Tracy! What did you get me in to?" But then, give yourself a few breathers and remember that it counts for a daily workout AND that you are using those calories, storing them up so you can eat more crackers! And truly, if a two year old can do it...maybe you should give it a shot.
When that dough is all flat and your arms feel like spaghetti, slide it onto a cookie sheet. I used a pizza cutter to trim off the overhang, and then placed those onto a second cookie sheet. Then, lightly mark out the cracker shapes on the dough (don't cut through, though). Brush the whole thing with oil, sprinkle some salt on top, and prick MANY times with a fork. (Otherwise, it will grow and puff and look strange, not that I found out.)
